r.u.q.a.y.y.a.h.

Feeling irritable...

I don't know what came over me today. Actually it started out quite fine. I was waiting for patients to come so I read the Quraan, read this really gd book abt monothesiem, doodled a bit of caligraphy... started on a new poem (more on this later)... Then this patient came.. his name was Eugene... he had 4 cavities to be done on all his molars. Whatever sweets that he eats only God knows. -_- I asked Miss Tan to check my revision examination. I thought she's the nicest of all trainers. I thought wrong. Well its not that shes bad. She just thinks I'm not good enough or something. Well yes when I first started I was a bit weak. Main reason was the stupid uniform. It distracted me so much the past year that I couldn't focus and concentrate. This made me a bit slow from the rest. But at least now I try my best in everything I do. I try to take as many patients as I can. I try to get as many practice as I can. Unlike some ppl I know. They just give away patients and avoid those with complex cases. I am not like that. And for the last few weeks when Dr. Yong and Dr. Chang and Mrs. Teo checked on my work, I did pretty good. Alhamdulillah. I improved a lot. So I felt irritated just now when Miss Tan tried to tell me whatever to do as if I don't know anything. And she kept giving me the eye. The eye that says "are u sure?" Heck! Don't give me the eye. I hate the eye. Judge me from my work, not from whoever who has been telling you that I'm not good enough. The point is I WONT LET MISS TAN CHECK ON ME EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! Maybe I should prove to her next time. Next time which will be quite some time. I was so irritated w her. As for Eugene just now, I didn't finish the case. I was so upset. I felt my tears and my headache and I requested to go to the doc. I got an MC. Bernard finished the case for me.
Oh Allah please help me.
I hope tomorrow will be a better day... tomorrow I have an Indian female patient in NDC.. oh Allah I hope I can do a blasting good job tomorrow ameen....
Perhaps that time of the month is coming for me. That's why my emotions are going haywire... just now I even shouted at my sister for tearing my jeans. She is too much that girl. Just too much. This is the 3rd time she tore one of my clothes. Man I hate her sometimes. But I'm so weak. I rarely scold her because I admit Im not good enough to scold her. Allah.... life is so tough sometimes...
Finally bout the poem.. I scribbled it in my monothesism book.. I left it back in my operatory... I haven finish it yet. I can't wait to finish it. InsyaAllah, if I finish it, I will post it here..

posted by Ruqa @ 9:00 PM