they say if you're a rijal or young man or pemuda, the challenges will be more. well, probably. but almara' or young woman or pemudi also has her own challenges to face.
she is someone under her parents' care. all through maidenhood, she belongs to her parents. her mother and father both hope from her that she will take good care of their names and the name of the family. and so she carries a big responsibility.
she is a member of the family. as of me, a big sister to 3 other small sisters. and a whole lot more small younger girl cousins. and friend's sisters. i came from madrasah background. the whole lot of small children who look up to me are many... and so i have to work extra hard to make sure i improve myself as i grow older.
a young woman is surrounded with many girlfriends of her age. friends are important, as whether she realizes it or not, they will influence her. a mara' must be wise in choosing her friends. not for the sake of being snobby or riak', but to prevent herself from being 'dragged' unconciously with bad company. choose friends who are of ilmu and taqwa.. who does not waste their time with too much duniawiyah. women tend to love unnecessary things like shopping, gossiping, talking behind their friends' backs.... try to avoid those types of friends. and try not to be someone of that kind too. [however a bit of necessary shopping is ok :p] hehe...
boy friends. Allah created men and women to be attracted to one another. when a young girl reach a certain age, she develops strange likings when boys look at her admiringly, or praise her beauty. she will want more of this and start to experiment makeup, accessories, pretty clothes to make herself beautiful. tabarruj, or perhiasan diri, or making oneself beautiful, is alrite, as long as it is not tooooo much. too much as in change the natural beauty Allah had given until it becomes something so different. some examples in this world's context: coloured contact lenses. we, girls who originate (cheh originate eh mcm kat geography text plak :p) from malay peninsular, naturally, do not have blue, green or purple iris. yea... so.. dont change them. :) boyfriends. they are those of the opposite sex. they are in our lives (after we graduate from a safe all girls' school -_-). i guess... from my view.. to safeguard ourselves.. it is better if we dont come too close.. to a certain boy. it is to safeguard ourselves really. talk to them politely, with manners and akhlaq (i dont mean seductively ok :p), dont try to imitate them (last time i thought its cool to become a tomboy nyahaha), and know your limits. if, for example, you know, this gathering, there will be more of your boyfriends rather than the girls, learn to say no. it is going to be lots of fun, maybe. but know where you stand. you, a pretty young girl surrounded by so many boys.. is that a pretty picture?
well lastly, read a lot of books on "guides to be a muslimah". in guide we trust! hee. insyaAllah we are all still learning.
some books i recommend:
-ideal women before marriage & after marriage by asghar ali chawdry. you can get it @ darul arqam book store for $10
-130 tips menjadi wanita paling bahagia di dunia. (i misplaced the book now. but its good).
ok... i dont know why i am suddenly inspired to write this.. but.. insyaAllah it is a reminder for me (me, first -_-) and all of you reading.
assalamualaikum.
posted by Ruqa @ 11:56 AM
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