r.u.q.a.y.y.a.h.

its funny how yesterday i think love is something dangerous, can lead to traps bla bla bla (please refer to previous entry i also cant remember already which date) but today, i think love is something oh so beautiful and it is not too much to say the world can't live w/o it...
as i look at pictures of my family, my sisters, my late grandma i feel so much love inside this little heart.
same goes to little rizhwan and salam whom i teach at tuffahah. masyaAllah as i look into those innocent eyes all i feel is this... mahabbah. tho sometimes i can feel very irritated and quite frustrated with them but somehow it always goes away at the end of the session.
oh Allah give me strength to teach these kids the best and may they grow up to be good muslims... better than the teacher too insyaAllah...
always, its always the future we worry abt dont we. something we do not know. what will happen in the future? and then, we as humans can only put our hopes and prayers to Allah...
i really fear sometimes u know, what will happen to rizhwan and salam... esp if they are so very naughty. dear Allah please look after them and please dont let them be abandoned just because of my mistakes and sins...
as i learnt from tasauf's ust saifur-rahman's class, there really is a lot of things in life i do not know...
love even..
love is something so complicated and as said earlier, beautiful...
it is something that takes time too. it does not happen on first sight or anything because you may get attracted to somebody physically but as you get to know the person its a whole different story.
its really lame of me to write something like this. i haven been writing like this for months. and i feel kind of strange.
but this is how i feel towards somebody who insyaAllah knows too that i love him.
people come and go. things happened between the two of us. good and bad. bad that seems like good. bad but actually good. a lot... since 2003... and now its been 8 months. 8 mths after the one year of ignorance, hatred, not talking to each other. and its been the best 8 months ever.
i am not sure why im writing this down. because insyaAllah he already knows. maybe its to hope for prayers from all those we both call friends you know who you are.
please doa for us..
if not what are we friends for then...
yes i do admit sometimes i feel those i call friends abandon me when i ask for help. maybe its just me being too sensitive... i apologize if thats what it is..
hoping for sincerity and loyalty in friendship..
learning more about all these mushy staffs as i go along...
all these mushy staffs which make all of us human i guess...
tasauf is good knowledge. subhanAllah.
however syariah must not be abandoned. forgive me Allah for all the things i've done. give me and my friends too, all the people i love, strength to live this life in the way You and the prophets had taught us...
For Your way is the best way for all of us.
ameen Ya Rabbal 'Alameen...

ruqayyah binti ramli..

posted by Ruqa @ 1:20 PM