however much i love music and lyrics, they cant be listened too much. for it will kill me inside (secara batin) s-l-o-w-l-y and turn me into a mush, thats good for nothing. unless its really, really rohaniah.
i also feel that i dont know myself at times. impatience and weakness brought me to do things that i know arent really to my liking. and i feel i had lost the strength to be a positive me...
maybe, i lack support too. where friends are needed, sometimes they disappoint. i too dont want to trouble them. and i know Allah is there. but someone like me need the human touch.
my sisters had been kind. i love them to death. and only with them i can be myself, laughing or joking or sharing or be serious. i guess for now they are my friends....
im not sure how im doing.
im not sure how im feeling.
i dont want to pour my thoughts to anybody. but if i dont, i will keep it inside and feel eaten up.
ya Allah please help me
please mend my broken spirit and soul.
please give me another chance.
please just please.
to summarize, i am feeling d-o-w-n....
and however much i like happy, happy entries...
i guess this time around i just... cant.
posted by Ruqa @ 12:12 PM
2 Comments:
Salam,
awww, dearie, yesterday, I tested out this training zikr session by the Jerrahi Order, very interesting...
It's all about LOVE... filling our whole selves with Divine Love, love of Allah, love of Rasulullah s.a.w, love of his family members, his sahabah... it's a circle of other humans, so, you feel the kindred spirit...
"Waiza saalaka Ibadee 'Annee fainnee qareeb. Ujeebu daAwata daaiee, iza da'an; falyastajeeboo lee walyuminoo bee, la'allahum yarshudoon."
(Al-Baqarah: 186)
I pray that He'll send you the human touch, inshaAllah...
Wallahu a'alam...
wassalam.
LOTS OF (puny-human) LOVE,
~Teach~
:) syukran cher...
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